The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing: Traitor to the Nation

Whenever I hear the term “mind-blowing” I immediately think of that horrendous period of time after Inception came out in theaters, and it was literally the only adjective used in any conversation ever.

“Aw man, that movie blew my mind” “Wait, it blew your mind? It blew my mind!” “BLOOD BROTHERS!”

Sigh. Remember that?

After that horrific phase, I have tried to replace the hated term with some more creative alternatives whenever I can.

But in the case of this M.T. Anderson novel I cannot.

Because, guys, I’m not kidding around here, this book blew my freakin’ MIND!

(I don't necessarily mean that in a good way).

You see, I opened this expecting to find typical young adult angst, typical young adult characters, and, most of all, typical young adult vernacular. So I opened up the book and I found THIS:

“My mother was surrounded always by admirers: scholars, poets, painters, bucks, and blades. She let them all pay homage; for though she was now in low estate, she had been bred for the court, and was accustomed to the crush of supplicants. She hearkened little to the insinuations of flattery or the curtseys of obsequiousness, but returned all idle, pretty chatter in its own coin.” (page 34).

HOLD THE PHONE.

This is how the entire BOOK is written. And let me tell you, this book is no “oh I’ll just stow it in my purse and carry it around” kinda book. This is a full fledged, “I hope you’ve reinforced your bookshelf, because I will do all that I can to make it collapse” kinda book. And the whole thing is written like that.

This type of writing may not seem so shocking to those not familiar with the genre of young adult fiction, but let me tell you. This is trippy. I am not used to this.

M.T. Anderson…WHO ARE YOU?

"My spectacles do be perched in a marginally askew manor upon my cunning visage, as an inebriated navy man may abandon his practiced upright stature to lean precariously upon his vessel’s mast. I know what obsequiousness means!"

After my initial bafflement by the sheer ridiculousness of the narration (I mean, obsequiousness? Really? That shouldn’t be a word. It sounds like some sort of dancing sequined octopus king and that really should never be given it’s own word. Now what was I saying? I got distracted by the dancing octopus in my mind.) Oh right, the elegant wording of the narration put me immediately on guard.

You see children, (or adults, tweens, humans, pirates, whatever best describes you), in my extensive experience, when it comes to young adult literature, there is a big difference between good writing and good plot. The best young adult books have a healthy balance, (and there are many that fit this bill).

Example:

Or: A very short man gets totally peer pressured into highly dangerous activities for cash.

And, unfortunately, there are many young adult books with both terrible plot and incredibly shitty writing.

Example: I Am Number Bullshit.

Now, in general, I think that good plot is more important than good writing. In fact, I think plot could kick writing’s whiny ass any day of the week. I don’t enjoy books where nothing happens. If someone tells me that a books is “beautifully written” I run for the hills because that is not the way a book should be described. Is it thought-provoking? Is it engaging? Is it entertaining? Those are the three golden questions. If your answer is “no…but the writing is just so lovely” then, I’m sorry, but your book does not have the Shannon Stamp of Approval, a thing that is necessary for respectable existence.

Without this you are nothing.

And so, although my mind was completely blown by the stunning imagery and turns of phrases in this book, I was still left unsatisfied because not that much happened.

"This book is a wild, wild ride."

I also didn’t feel connected to Octavian at all because his speech was always so formal. It kept a distance between him and me. And I don’t like that. I like to be up close and personal with my characters. I like things to get uncomfortable. They try to back away but I persist, and very, very slowly, they learn to accept that I am here to stay, and they quietly succumb to the inevitable.

Oh goodness. You probably think I’m really weird now don’t you.

Needless to say, Octavian and I do not have a bond.

But I’m not totally discounting this book. I do recommend it for people willing to put in the effort of looking up the word “obsequiousness”. It’s a fascinating, and beautiful read. It takes place during the American Revolution, and I can’t know for sure, because I’m not very good at history and I really don’t feel like spending time looking this up, but some of the things that happen in the book are probably historically accurate. Which is pretty flippin’ sweet. And if not, it’s still an interesting look at race relations during that period.

So this is neither gem, nor anthracite. It’s somewhere in between. Howsabout….bronze? I’ma gonna go with bronze.

This is also bronze.

And so my noble quest continues. Oh dear readers do not fret, for I have not tired from my search yet. Continue to have hope and blah blah blah you get the point I'm going to bed.