Welcome!

As an English major, I am often required to read the ol’ classics we all know and love.

Charles Dickens:

“Hello I am Charles Dickens, and this is my beard, Tiny Tim.”

Emily Bronte:

Her eyes could toast raw bread where it lay.

George Eliot:

“Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope”

And so on and so forth.

And though I adore these authors and their works, (those earlier taunts were taunts of love), I don’t often read them in my own free time. I spend my idle hours with a different genre altogether.

Yes, you noble surfers of the internet, it’s true.

I am obsessed with young adult fantasy.

Now before you cover your eyes and your ears and recite Faulkner loudly to drown out my words, I need to give you a little disclaimer:

I hate Twilight.

Ok? ... Does that make it better?

I’m not one of those girls who becomes obsessed with a book because Edward Cullen is cute. Nor am I one of those girls who will hate a book just because it’s fashionable to hate it. I’m an English major. I am well read. I read with a critical eye.

In short, I know my shit.

Unlike a lot of Twilight haters out there, I have actually read the entire series. And I have formed a very educated thought-out, detailed, opinion about the franchise:

Twilight sucks.

HAH! GET IT?! VAMPIRES?

…

Anyway, Twilight is horrible because of the messages it gives to young girls.

Sucky message number 1: It is perfectly acceptable for a man to withhold sex from you in order to bribe you into marrying him.

"If you wear this 3 and a half pound ring on your finger for the rest of you life, I will do dirty dirty things to you."

Sucky message number 2: If a man creeps into your driveway in the dead of night and steals the engine out of your car to insure that you don’t go anywhere, it is a sign of love, and should be rewarded. (But not with sex. Remember, he’s withholding that from you.)

No sex! No driving!

Sucky message number 3: If you get dumped, just put yourself into a lot of incredibly dangerous situations so that he’ll have to come back and save you. These include, but are not limited to, walking provocatively past a group of men who have claimed that they would like to rape you, riding a motorcycle for the first time eighty miles per hour down a winding road, and jumping off a cliff.

Actually, maybe he would love her better if she's dead. Isn't he dead? He's just the perfect boyfriend isn't he?

Sucky message number 4: Babies eat their way out of your stomach.

"Re...nes...mee!"

There are more problems I have with this book (Bella is the most boring character I’ve ever encountered in my life) but I’m not going to go into them here. I was just using this to gain your trust. Do you trust my opinion now? And how!

So this blog will mainly consist of me reviewing young adult books that I have read. My mission: To weed out the awful Twilight-esque books that are soiling this noble breed of literature and to find the gems of the young adult fantasy genre (heeey! That’s the name of the blog!) If you have any requests of books you would like me to read and review please comment! And now LET THE GREAT EXPERIMENT BEGIN!!!!

(That was an Arrested Development reference. See? I’m cool.)

And for all you Twihards out there: Really? You’re excited about this trailer? Because this made my eyes bleed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3Vd-x0FVIs